Today I feel much different.

A couple of days ago they contacted me about a seminar they are working on which will look at workplace tragedies. The person knows who my prospects are and thought the seminar would be a good fit.

There is one aspect of my life I do not openly share on a one-to-one basis because of the emotions and mental images it evokes in me and others. But I felt it could be a great message so I replied that one of my keynote address is “Overcoming Life’s Disappointments”. In it I relate the story about when I learned my 2-year old son had been killed. I share the personal aspects of overcoming tragedy as well as the support that was beneficial (and not so helpful) from my boss, employer, staff, and co-workers.

The reply I got was very stark: “We are all set with speakers for this year but I will keep that in mind for sure for next year. Are you interested in exhibiting though?”

Not a word such as “Sorry about your loss”.

Just an attempt to sell me a booth.

I was not looking for pity or sympathy but a little empathy would have been appreciated.
Rather than sit here and wallow in pity I thought I would share with you what life has taught me about reacting to unexpected, surprising, or tragic news. We may not hear such things the first time we network with someone, but as relationships build, they come up.

1. Listening is the art of multitasking. Always listen with both your heart and your head. Networkers are usually good about listening with their head, but skip the heart part. This is the aspect of learning about the other person from a level that will reveal if you can truly work together and how they will relate to those to whom you refer them.


2. Empathy begins with listening. Empathy is the ability to get into another person head and better understand them. It is the key to long, strong relationships, life-long customers regardless of price, and knowing how you can provide true value within a business or personal relationship. It starts by listening with your ears and eyes. Do not focus on mere words. See the body language that goes with the words.


3. Listening requires a response. When you here something surprising, funny, or tragic do not discard it. Sure you may not know the perfect words to say but saying nothing is even worse. A simple “I’m never knew that” or “I’ll keep you in my prayers” or “Tell me more” are all ways to show you are about more than just money.

I hope this posting is beneficial to you and that it reinforces your commitment to fully listen to those with whom you network, sell, or employ.